Couples and Individual Counseling Can Reduce Baggage
The choice to begin Couples and Individual Counseling is an act of courage, hope and love.
Baggage is the scars of earlier relationships that still impact us today.
We all interpret reality through the lens of our past.
We bring all our life experiences to our current relationship.
Let me give some common examples:
- If your partner’s been cheated on, that can lead to anxiety and trust issues between the two of you.
- If your parent left you when you were a kid, you may be sensitive to feeling abandoned by your partner.
- If your partner spent time with someone (a parent or a former relationship) who’s constantly critical or disrespectful, he or she may harbor insecurities, like never feeling good enough or feeling like a failure.
- If your sibling got more attention than you, having attention or validation from your partner may be more important than it would be if your parents treated you more equitably.
- If your partner is sensitive to feeling excluded and you value independence and want some time to do your own activities, it can create hurt feelings or constant arguments unless it’s managed appropriately.
Being aware of your baggage is not enough. We must get rid of as much of it as we can.
Couples Counseling Can Save Your Marriage
Marriage is an intimate partnership that requires sharing yourself with someone else. Nothing is all their fault. Nothing is all your fault. Every problem is shared by both of you and must be resolved by both of you.
Turn towards (as opposed to turning away from each other). Maintain a positive perspective.
See your partner as an ally, not an adversary Help each to resolve the struggles. Any growth or change that either of you accomplish benefits both of you.
Couples Counseling Can Keep You Happy
Therapy shouldn’t be a last resort. Come to therapy when you have issues that can still be resolved. Not when you’ve already surrendered. Relationships are hard but without a sense of commitment they can be impossible.
Therapy is conducted with a deep understanding of human behavior, interpersonal issues and other factors such as intuition and experience.
I try to schedule appointments as quickly as possible.